#its been fucking 8 years what the fuck
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Blocking him and adding him to my favouites.... what the fuck am I on?
#im deranged#bipolar disorder?#borderline disorder#idk which one this is#i hunted down my crush's number somehow and this is how i end up#ive liked him ever since 2016#its been fucking 8 years what the fuck#and he doesn't even like me back#or know my existence per se#dude probably forgot me in 2017 itself smh#naurrrr he was so 🥰🥰🥰 yk#is it love or infatuation#idk man i wanna kms#id rather kms than be in unrequited whatever this is#i cant even move on ffs#moving on is hard as fuck for me bro#i should just fucking kms atp#and my strict south indian parents of fucking course doesn't know about this#nor i told about this to my classmates from school when i was in school#bcs i was scared hed get to know that i like him through word of mouth#what do i do
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AW LORD HES DRUMMIN PATREECE ON DRUMS RED ALERT RED ALERT
#AAAAAA#WHATS WITHT HIS FUCKING TOUR#IVE BEEN A FOB FAN FOR LIKE#8 YEARS#ITS NEVER BEEN THIS CRAZY B4#AAAA#tourdust spoilers#fall out boy#fob#art#my art#fall out boy fan art#patrick stump#fababoi silly gifs#AAAAAAAAAAA
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okay i will admit it: i don't like 431 from a narrative standpoint (or really any standpoint) but if you view it exclusively as the true epilogue in an alternate universe of mha in which 5 year old katsuki is right about deku looking down on him and doing everything to spite him and wanting to bring about his downfall then the whole thing becomes kind of absurdly funny
#telling a guy that hes your symbol of victory and that youve been chasing after him for years#& establishing a rivalry with him & getting him to confront the fact that he's in love with you & fighting TOGETHER in your final battle#to the point that he DIES for you and you lean on him when you lose your quirk#and he spends 8 years grinding so he can buy you a suit and be partners with you so you can BE together#and then JUST when he decides to ask you to work with him- you leave him for a woman haunted by the ghost of yuri's past#and specifically dump him in his car with his best friend next to him.#ALL as an elaborate scheme to get back at him for bullying you in middle school#like idk its almost fucking funny.#imagine thinking that the guy who helped you up once when u were both 5 is plotting to make you suffer and twenty years later#it turns out you were RIGHT#okay to be clear this isn't actually how i feel about what happened in 431#thats more complicated. in the meantime: shitpost!#mha leaks#mha manga spoilers#mha#bnha#bkdk#bakudeku#bkdkbk#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#ant speaks
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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~ Monthly BL Breakdown: March 2024 ~
🌦️ Happy April!!! 🐝
Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post!
New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns
What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)
🌟 Love is Better the Second Time Around - March 5th (Japan)
🌟 Deep Night - March 7th (Thailand)
🌟 Your Tie is Crooked - March 11th (Japan/Thailand)
🌟 Close Friend 3: Soju Bomb! - March 13th (Thailand)
🌟 Kiseki Chapter 2 - March 17th (Thailand)
🌟 Two Worlds - March 21st (Thailand) ✅
🌟 High Demand - March 23rd (Thailand)
🌟 Be Your Star - March 23rd (Thailand)
🌟 Jazz For Two - March 26th (South Korea)
🌟 The Star - March 28th (Thailand)
🌟 Please Teach Me - March 29th (South Korea)
🌟 Only Boo! - March 31st (Thailand) ✅
Monthly likes/dislikes
❣️ ø
👎🏻 ø
New series & movie announcements
🎥 Babanbabanban Vampire (manga adaption) - Coming 2025 (Japan)
🎥 My Lovely Enemy - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 My Dear Daddy (starring Fluke Pusit) - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Battle of the Writers (starring TutorYim) - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan/Thailand)
🎥 Silent House - Date TBA (China)
🎥 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans - Coming July 5th (Thailand)
🎥 What the Nong - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Night Owl - Date TBA (China)
🎥 จาฤกรติชา (novel adaption) - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 GG Precinct - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Sangmin & Dinneaw (Thai/Korean collaboration) - Date TBA (Thailand/South Korea)
🎥 Let's Eat Together 2 (sequel movie) - Coming June 2024 (Japan)
🎥 Global Examination - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Yaoi Academy - Date TBA (Thailand)
Other news from the BL world
❗️ Actor Jes Jespipat was announced as the replacement for Build Jakapan in the upcoming Be On Cloud BL 4 Minutes. B. previously withdrew from the project after a defamation lawsuit involving him and his ex girlfriend in 2023. The project is now in production and will likely air towards the end of the year.
❗️ Actor Maiake Kandis announced his withdrawal from the upcoming BL Red Peafowl. He was originally cast as one of the leads, being paired with Dollar Patchara. He later came forward saying his statement was fake news and that he is in fact not withdrawing. He also said he does not know if or when the production will start.
❗️ Former GMMTV actor Fluke Pusit (The Shipper, The Warp Effect) was announced as the lead actor in the upcoming BL Your Dear Daddy. He will star alongside Poonpun Jitaboon, an air date is unknown.
❗️ Domundi actors TutorYim (Cutie Pie, Middlemans Love) were announced as the leads in the upcoming BL Battle of the Writers. The show will be produced by Hydroindus Entertainment and is based on the Chinese novel "The Great Battle of Games". The full cast was announced on March 9th; an airdate as well as further information on the show is unknown.
❗️ Lay Talay and Perth Nakhun (My Engineer) reunited for a mini series called Your Tie is Crooked, consisting of 3 episodes à 2 minutes. It was released on the Japanese streaming platform TVer on March 11th.
❗️ The premiere of the upcoming BL Wuju Bakery has been postponed to September. It was originally scheduled to air in March, though due to an increase of the episode length and general production upscaling, the original air date is no longer realizable, according to the production.
❗️ Change 2561 (Pit Babe) announced an upcoming original BL called This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans. Sailub and Pon (AlanJeff in PB) will star as the lead couple, alongside GarfieldBenz and others. A first trailer was released on March 20th.
❗️ Actor Yoon Phusanu revealed that he has left his management under Y Entertainment, following a dispute about his appearance in the 2023 Thai BL For Him. In a press conference he stated that the production cut his part completely and refused to pay him in the process. Main actors Dew N. and Tor A. later disclosed that they also encountered the issue of not receiving payment for their work from the company, along with accusations of se*ual assault from members of the production team. In an official statement Y Entertainment clarified they would transfer the actor's salaries as soon as possible.
❗️ The GMMTV BL Cherry Magic reached more than 1.7 million tweets for the final episode and a total of over 9 Million tweets for all 12 episodes, making it the gmmtv show with the most Twitter interaction in the history of the company.
❗️ The upcoming Korean remake of the Norwegian teen web series SKAM is officially in production. A short teaser was released on March 28th, revealing the title of the project: Fragile. An airdate, as well as a cast and further information is unknown.
Upcoming series & movies for April
👉🏻 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand)
👉🏻 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand)
👉🏻 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand)
👉🏻 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan)
👉🏻 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea)
👉🏻 At 25:00 in Akasaka - April 18th (Japan)
👉🏻 Boys Be Brave - April 19th (South Korea)
👉🏻 With You I Bloom - April 24th (Japan)
👉🏻 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand)
👉🏻 Knock Knock Boys - April TBA (Thailand)
👉🏻 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April TBA (Thailand)
#doreens monthly bl breakdown#thai bl#bl drama#upcoming bl#update#bl news#2024 really be the year of dropouts and comebacks huh#most of all im screaming about fluke lmao he really left gmmtv and instantly bagged a main role sdjkhsd good for him 🥺#im proud#also the thing with yoon and y ent is so fucked up#these companies need to get their shit together ffs#also am i gonna watch that korean skam? probably not#but im laughing about it bc yknow#is this really necessary#also its been 8 years idk if this is still contemporary#theyre gonna have to switch it up#but anyway#what a month it has been#+
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There is something so ... There's something about how Dick told Bruce he didn't want to be adopted, about how he felt being adopted would be disrespectful to his parents and their memory, and how Bruce, (despite the narrative around fostering and adoption and how one is treated as "better" then the other and is constantly pushed despite what the children in these scenarios may actually want,) respects that, for years, waiting until Dick is a legal adult and therefore the adoption is an obvious legal formality and not a statement of parental responsibility or whatever, how he waits until it is only a gesture of deep and abiding love, and can only be interpreted as such, and how that respect for the wishes of a grieving child (a child whose wishes have been constantly and consistently ignored by the other adults around him) is constantly treated in fandom as some kind of enormous moral failing instead of what it actually is .... There's something about it idk
#STOP TREATING THE WISHES OF CHILDREN AS DISREGARDABLE#tbh Bruce having such respect for the wishes of a 8-10-12 year old that he waits until Dick has proven he will walk away if necessary#before offering to adopt him a second time#is a very good character detail#because it isn't about what Bruce fucking wants#(and he has stated multiple times that he wants to adopt dick)#its about what dick wants. and dick was clear with what he wanted.#i just. stop beating that horse it never even existed#also. practically speaking? Bruce Wayne confirmed bachelor adopting a teenager would be an enormous scandal. it wouldn't have happened or#even been an option until very very recently
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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decided to make a list of all my diagnosed issues and like fucking. god damn. how am i just living day to day.
#nine bullet points#of diagnosed things i struggle#i struggle with#1. type one diabetes 2. adhd 3. bipolar 4. severe anxiety 5. depression 6. insomnia 7. migraines 8. dpdr 9. ptsd#and im just ?? existing like this??? literally how what the fuck#there’s more than that too thats just like the actual able to be diagnosed shit#probably also at least slightly autistic but my psychologist said that its not bad enough to impact me big time and a diagnosis would do mor#more harm than good so im just kind. Not lmao#but also: abandonment issues self worth issues guilty conscience issues feeling unworthy of literally everything issues#awful at establishing boundaries#sh issues#(not for like years but its a struggle to not relapse every year esp during winter)#suicidal ideation but at least ive never actually been suicidal#not bc i particularly love being alive but because the fact that i dont know what comes after death scares me too much lmao#even at my lowest of lows i have not wanted to kms SOLELY bc the unknown scares me enough to be like#yeah this sucks but at least i know it#at least it’s like familiar which is sad but still true lma#OH ALSO eating disorder lmao. diabulimia is a thing.#genuinely how have i not been fucking hospitalized#not in a bad way but like. idk how i havent gotten to that point yet#tho to be fair there are multiple points i probably should have been tbh#i just. dont want to worry people? or inconvenience anyone. and i know im not gonna kms so its easy to be like ‘i dont need that’#i have overshared way too much in these tags sorry i’ll stop now#if anyone has actually read all of these: i’m sorry. i love you. i hope you feel better than i do. i hope you smiled today.
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I know I've said this before but what do we have to do to get people to stop believing their grannies when they tell them that their great grandmother's were fullblood cherokee Indians that ran away from the trail of tears. I'm so tired of all the 'I'm 1/8 - 1/16 cherokee can I get benefits?' bullshit from people who have never even mentioned it except as a novelty or when it might benefit them. People who swear they know for sure that their great granny was traded to a white family for a keg of whiskey and yet don't know her name. Family stories aren't proof of anything pleeeease stop taking them at face value.
You can find out so easily with an ancestry.com free trial or on wikitree or smth. Find the ancestors names who were alive around 1900, see if they lived in OK and then search the dawes rolls, or search the guion Miller rolls. It's that easy. Those rolls are publicly available. But everyone has an excuse for why Their ancestors aren't documented and They're actually More cherokee than anyone who is documented somehow blah blah blah and we're all so sick of it
#hell ive only been in cherokee spaces for like a little over a year now and im so sick of it#i cant imagine what the people who grew up cherokee have had to deal with#also how fucking disrespectful it is to never acknowledge being cherokee until 'im 1/8 can i get money for being indian?' just#its exactly like all those fakes applying for the guion miller payout that started a lot of those family myths. trying to steal money#that should be going to real cherokees. fuck im documented and everything but i wouldnt dream of asking for reparations because ive never#dealt with racism or that significant generational trauma ir anything like that so fuck no#people who only are interested in calling themselves cherokee in their donation posts. fuck
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one thing about me is i have no idea what i know because i have no idea what is like a normal amount of knowledge about anything
#its literally not even that im insecure. i just dont know what people are as a general rule going to know#and specifically its always that i think i dont know something and it turns out i have a significantly larger amount of knowledge about it#ari opinion hour#literally one time my friend asked me abt community bands / how to find one to play with and i no joke genuinely started off my answer like#So disclaimer i dont actually know that much about community ensembles or have really much experience with them at all#and then proceeded to go on a nice long tangent complete with how to find them‚ types of ensembles to look for‚ what organizations might#run community ensembles or keep lists of them‚ and then provided this friend with at least TWO DIFFERENT LISTS where they could#find ensembles to check out#and then i stopped and realized id written a Whole Thing which in turn made me realize#that‚ Actually‚ I Have Like EIGHT YEARS Of Experience Playing In Community Ensembles. So What The Fuck Was I Talking About#particularly because i first started doing that in 5th grade meaning i have literally been playing in community ensembles for one (1) fewer#year than i have been playing my instrument. because the 8 years was counting by semester and doesnt include covid years#(at this point its 18 semesters / 11 years)
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Wish I could get paid to learn languages but not teach them or translate them or analyze them or do anything with them just learn them
#Teaching languages well I've been there and I think I'll have to end up going back because it's all I can do#With my stupid degree but whatever. I just wish I could just get like paid to learn and not teach but doesn't everyone#SIGH#And my ass would not make it in academia that ship has so sailed so its not even an option#I wish I was rich like this one girl I know who just goes back to fucking undergrad all the time for different shit#Cos her parents are like sure you can go get an art degree#FUCK!#Whatever . I don't care.#Anyway I think if I don't make it back to Germany and back to school in the next....3 years I'll kill myself but that's tangential#And what's funny is I've been saying that for 8 years Lmfao
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people who complain about bob's burgers becoming more family friendly and therefore "worse" really do not mean anything to me bcuz they've fully stated their reasons for why it became more kid-friendly after season three and i think thats completely understandable and they're allowed to do whatever they want with THEIR SHOW!!!! and honestly the quality hasn't gotten any worse they just swear slightly less than before and make less references to sex but like they go to strip clubs and get drunk etc so its not a fuckign nickelodeon show or anything.... idk object shows are kinda the same where they had more cursing and violence earlier on but now they try to keep most shows kid-friendly (generally speaking in the osc) not because they HAVE to but because its an active choice that they're making. maybe if you literally only like adult cartoons for the raunchy humor yeah you're not gonna like the later seasons as much but quality-wise they're still entertaining so?? maybe go watch family guy or something idk
#i understand not liking that some episodes now feel like they have moral lessons at the end or whatever#but this isn't really what people are talking abt its been a complaint since season 3 or 4#and I KNOW u guys like seasons 4-8 so its not the same reasons everybody seems to hate later seasons (even if i dont agree w/ that either)#speaking as somebody who has also made active choices in how my characters and their stories are protrayed in a kid-friendly community#also sometimes u want to watch ur OWN show with your nine year old kid and you don't want them seeing all the molestation jokrs which like#is COMPLETELY fair esp as the creator of the fucking show#go watch family guy idk#txt#bob's burgers
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#“would you still love me-”“who said i loved you”#“we literally just had an indepth conversation about how i would take your cat if you died and the plan was that was gonna fake being#your secret gay lover to your mother because she already thinks we've been fucking for the past 8 years#and wouldnt bat an eye if i said that and we had this whole bit where youd buy me A RING-“#do i also have to mention you just stuck your hand in my pants because you think the rips in them are egregiously big and think they#shouldnt be considered pants just to prove a point and yet you cant believe that people think it looks good#even as a drunk guy got a little touchy and complimented said “pants” in front of you#but tbf i did wear them because i knew itd elicit a reaction because last time you did the same exact thing#except it was in front of the person you were dating at the time who was sandwiched between us in a shitty sportsbar booth#which you know was something alright.#you know what i have to shut up#guys never get a codepent homoerotic friendship from highschool because you heal from the codependency as adults#but the homoeroticism and all the baggage it carries still chugs along#whats it like not having a guy being really excited to show you how they wooed their partner which was this spinny pin maneuver#by demonstrating it on you WHILE SAID PARTNER WATCHED and being very adamant that you can imagine it you dont need to actually show it on-#but he REALLY wants to do it and you could never really say no to him and you have to suck up your pride and get fucking pinned to a wall#at his parents place BECAUSE ITS HIS MOTHERS BIRTHDAY BECAUSE THIS WAS THE PARTY HE WANTED TO SHOW OFF HIS PARTNER TO HIS FOLKS#you know what i have to actually shut up like actually
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Worst part of stanning gotta be the stans
#like i cant watch fan interactions#and i only have ever paid for one (1) meet and greet and it was awful and i wish i hadnt done it#like so many fans and just regular people say the most out of pocket shit to these actors#and ruin it forever#so by the time you actually meet your little meow meow or whoever the fuck#they dont give two shits about you#just the whole fan-celebrity dynamics irl gives me the ick so bad#like no they dont care!! of course they dont care hes been up for 2947 hours and youre a literal stranger getting in their face with a camer#and saying some stupid shit about whatever movie they did 8 years ago that they dont remember the lines for#like#idk#its a waste of money and its gonna disappoint you no matter what bc you built them up in your head so much#meet and greets i mean#the only celebrity ive ever met that was a genuine delight#was dan avidan and he was at my hometown airport and he was utterly delighted tjat i recognized him#because hes not super duper wowza yowza famous.#but like...#if i ever saw Sebastian Stan on the street?#girl id turn around and walk the other way im so serious i never want to meet that man
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I swear if I end up having some bizarre rare eye/brain problem I'm going to fucking murder something
#i understand its not bad enough to risk doing the surgery again because if it goes wrong i could easily go blind in that eye#HOWEVER#isn't there at least a middle ground between the surgery and the doing nothing about it#(there isn't)#i get to get an mri about it!#but the good news is that i might get an explination for the migraines that were supposed to stop when i got the glasses and then didnt#and i swear if someone tells me to drink more water one more time--#i KNOW im chronically dehydrated but there are OTHER PROBLEMS HERE PEOPLE#being chronically dehydrated doesnt make it HURT TO MOVE YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING EYE#the bad news is that there still isnt an explination for the thing i got surgery for when i was a kid suddenly coming back 8 years later#if it was meant to come back it would've done it within 12 months generally speaking#it has been. 8 years and guess what came back! :)#yep the thing that was SUPPOSED TO BE GONE FOREVER#went to the doctor today and he said quote#huh. thats unusual!#cw medical#tw medical
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